Biden Volunteers For TSA Duty So He Can Legally Grope Women Again
WASHINGTON — Citing his deep commitment to public service, former President Joe…
Japan Prime Minister Offers Severed Pinky After Refusing Trump’s Request For Warships
WASHINGTON—In what Japan described as a deeply meaningful gesture of respect, accountability,…
Republicans Worried Passing SAVE Act May Lead To Election Integrity
WASHINGTON — Expressing what they described as a quiet but deeply uncomfortable concern,…
Gavin Newsom Announces Task Force To Prevent Future Fraud Discoveries
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Responding to a growing wave of fraud revelations uncovered…
Gavin Newsom Reminds Iran To Apply For Proper Permits Before Launching Missiles Into California
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — In response to recent threats from the Islamic Republic…
Trump Endorses Jake Paul’s Sweaty Armpits After They ‘Worked Harder In 5 Minutes Than Massie In 10 Years’
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — At a rally Tuesday night, Donald Trump stunned supporters…
Unemployed Dan Crenshaw Joins Somali Pirates After Realizing Plunder More Lucrative Than Insider Trading
MOGADISHU, SOMALIA — Following a devastating primary defeat that left him ousted…
Lindsey Graham Wakes Up In Cold Sweat After Horrifying Nightmare Where He Had To Fight In One Of His Own Wars
WASHINGTON — Senator Lindsey Graham (R-SC) awoke screaming in the early morning…
U.S. Unveils Israel Loyalty Punch Card: Buy 10 Congress Members, Get 1 Free Middle East War
WASHINGTON — In an effort to streamline a long-standing bipartisan tradition, the…
US Government Apologizes For Accidentally Releasing Iran False Flag Two Weeks Before It Happens
WASHINGTON— The State Department issued a rare formal apology today after a…
Republicans Demand Trump Stop Implementing GOP Platform So They Can Keep Fundraising Off Pretending To Support It
WASHINGTON—In an emergency closed-door meeting Friday, a coalition of concerned Senate Republicans…
Democrats Claim Playing Trump’s State Of The Union Backwards Reveals Secret Russian Directives
WASHINGTON— Calling it the most chilling and undeniable piece of evidence discovered…
