Biden And Bernie Sanders Reminisce About The Time They Were Each Cheated Out Of Race By A Cackling Woman
WASHINGTON-- Only days after the DNC performed a coup d'é·tat on him in an effort to rig Vice President Kamala Harris in as the Democrat candidate, Joe Biden called his…
New Polling Shows Kamala Harris Leads Trump Among Dead Voters
U.S.-- In a series of recent polls, Vice President Kamala Harris has shown a significant lead over Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump among dead voters, with a 100-point advantage in…
Iran Subverts Democracy By Installing Presidential Candidate No One Voted For— No Wait, That Was The United States
U.S.-- Mainstream media outlets were abuzz with the news that Iran had once again overthrown democracy by installing a presidential candidate that the rich elites had chosen and the citizens…
White House Releases Undoctored Photo Of Biden To Prove He’s Alive And Well
WASHINGTON-- The White House has released a photo of Joe Biden on their official Twitter X account in an effort to quell the growing number of people who are starting…
Biden Endorses Kamala Harris Only So He’ll No Longer Be Known As Worst President In History
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has officially dropped out of the 2024 presidential race and has given his full endorsement to Kamala Harris, saying that if she wins then he'll no longer…
‘Trump’s Going To Take Away Your Voting Rights,’ Says Democrat Party Who Just Removed Their Voter’s Candidate
U.S.-- After screaming for months that Donald Trump will take away people's voting rights if they don't vote blue this November, the Democrat party has officially taken away the votes…
Trump Vows To Conquer Alzheimer’s In November By Defeating Biden In Election
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN-- At the Republican National Convention, Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told millions of people around the country that he will defeat Alzheimer's by November when he beats President…
‘Mr. Las Vegas’ Wayne Newton Makes Guest Appearance At RNC
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN-- There were numerous celebrities at this year's Republican National Convention (RNC), including a surprise guest appearance by the man himself "Mr. Las Vegas" Wayne Newton. The crowd went…
Biden Reassures Democrats: ‘My Chances Of Winning Election Are As Solid As My Last Bowel Movement’
WASHINGTON-- While recovering from COVID even though he was supposedly vaccinated and boosted sixty-nine times, Joe Biden put out a message to all his fellow Democrats who are calling for…
Bad Guy Eludes Secret Service By Jogging Up Mildly Sloped Ground
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN-- A rabble-rousing man who tried disrupting the RNC Convention as Donald Trump walked by has eluded capture from experienced Secret Service agents by simply jogging up mildly sloped…
Miracle: Secret Service Mysteriously Finds Clean, New Iranian Passport Left At Scene Of Trump Assassination Attempt
BUTLER, PENNSYLVANIA-- While doing a thorough investigation of the scene where a gunman tried assassinating Donald Trump, Secret Service agents were super-duper lucky to just happen to find a clean,…
Biden Wishes Ronald Reagan Speedy Recovery After Assassination Attempt
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden gave a quick impromptu speech from the Oval Office following the attempted assassination of his Republican opponent Donald Trump, saying that he wished President Ronald Reagan…
