WASHINGTON– While recovering from COVID even though he was supposedly vaccinated and boosted sixty-nine times, Joe Biden put out a message to all his fellow Democrats who are calling for him to step down by telling them his chances of winning the election are as solid as his last bowel movement.
According to news sources, there’s a growing number of Democrats that are not convinced that Biden can defeat Donald Trump in November, with top Democrats Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries calling for a meeting with Biden to convince him to drop out of the race.
“Come on, man, I don’t feel a day over a hundred,” said Biden to his colleagues as he tried holding in a fart. “I’m just as young and spry as I was when I defeated George Washington in the 1980 prime minister’s election. Trust me, Jack, my chances of winning this upcoming election are just as solid as my last and future bowel movements or my name isn’t Bart Simpson.”
Biden told everyone not to worry and that if he were a betting man he would definitely bet on that guy Luke Skywalker defeating Muhammed Ali for Constable of South Africa.
At publishing time, Schumer and Jeffries were feeling even more uneasy about Biden’s chances of winning the election after First Lady Jill had to perform an emergency diaper change due to the president’s fart being a little wetter and sloppier than usual.
