German Authorities Condemn Terrorist Car Attack For Not Using Horn Before Ramming Crowd
BERLIN, GERMANY-- Immediately following yet another vicious car attack, German authorities were quick to put out a statement regarding the incident by condemning the violent terrorist attacker for having the…
Obama Teaches Zohran Mamdani How To Forge A Birth Certificate For When He Runs For President
WASHINGTON-- With New York City Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani's popularity continuing to increase, former President Barack Obama took the Ugandan-born Muslim under his wing and taught him the best way…
UK PM Keir Starmer Offers To Take Illegal Haitian Cannibals Being Deported By Trump
LONDON, ENGLAND-- As soon as he received word that Donald Trump was deporting almost one million Haitians living in the US, Prime Minister Keir Starmer phoned the American president and…
Democrats Self-Deport In Protest Of Trump’s Birthright Citizenship Ban
COLIMA, MEXICO-- In protest of the Supreme Court ruling upholding Donald Trump's birthright citizenship ban, Democrats Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Jasmine Crockett showed their objection to the policy by voluntarily self-deporting…
Breaking: Lower Court Judge Overrules Supreme Court Overruling Lower Court
U.S.-- A major ruling out of the nation's highest court the Supreme Court has just been overruled by a lower court judge early Friday morning , with the district judge…
Bernie Sanders Offers To Pay For Dinner After Taking Money Out Of Friend’s Coat Pocket
WASHINGTON-- In a bold display of what he called grassroots wealth distribution, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders offered to pay for dinner at a local diner after rifling through his friend's…
Mark Carney Claims Canada Will Achieve Net Zero Carbon Footprint Once Every Canadian Is Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In his quest to tackle the dangerous carbon epidemic in Canada, newly elected Liberal Prime Minister Mark Carney laid out his ten year plan by claiming the Great…
Canadians Place Iran Flags In Front Of Prime Minister’s Office So U.S. Will Bomb It
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After seeing how quickly the United States targeted Iran's nuclear facilities, Canadian citizens came up with the ingenious idea of placing Iranian flags in front of the Office…
Nancy Pelosi Furious After Trump’s Israel-Iran Ceasefire Tanks Her War Stocks Portfolio
WASHINGTON-- Only hours following both Israel and Iran's agreement to Donald Trump's ceasefire, sources close to Nancy Pelosi reportedly confirmed that the California Democrat was furious after the president's peace…
Ben Shapiro Last Seen Watching Iran Bombing Footage With Lotion And Box Of Tissues
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE-- Numerous employees of conservative media outlet The Daily Wire were reportedly getting worried about their coworker Ben Shapiro after saying he was last seen locking himself inside of…
Desperate Zelensky Starts Selling Feet Pics Online To Fund Ukraine War
KIEV, UKRAINE-- With support for Ukraine steadily waning, a desperate President Volodymyr Zelensky has reportedly launched an unconventional attempt to fund the ongoing war against Russia by selling exclusive feet…
Emperor Palpatine Calls For Peace After Death Star Blows Up Alderaan
CORE WORLDS-- After blowing up the planet Alderaan, Emperor Palpatine took to X to say that the attack was a success and to also relay the message to the Rebel…
