U.S.– In yet another example of big corporations cutting costs at the expense of Americans, famous restaurant chain Cracker Barrel has fired the logo’s iconic Old Timer American man and has replaced him with a sombrero-wearing Mexican illegal alien who works for half the wages compared to the company’s previous legal mascot.
The decision to replace the elderly American white man on the logo came as a surprise to no one after it was revealed that the new Cracker Barrel CEO Julie Felss Masino is a radical leftist, liberal white woman with thick, black glasses. CEO Masino claims the old logo’s grizzled, barrel-sitting patriarch was a constant reminder of America’s racist past when white men wearing MAGA Trump hats owned slaves in the 1800s.
“Our new Cracker Barrel logo is more representative of the current United States,” said CEO Masino as she patted herself on the back for losing $100 million in stock value in only two days. “Our new logo mascot Jose Umberto Juan Fernando Diego Rodriguez-Hernandez-Lopez-Sanchez-Alvarez-Flores-Martinez better represents both the direction of where our food chain is headed and also our commitment to reducing costs but still increasing prices for the consumer.”
According to sources, Cracker Barrel’s new beer-drinking, mustached illegal alien logo mascot came into the country illegally in 2021 under former President Joe Biden’s administration, where he moved to California and was given free money, housing, food, and a driver’s license under Governor Gavin Newsom’s pro-illegal immigrant sanctuary state policies.
At publishing time, it was reported that the new Cracker Barrel mascot was apprehended by ICE and already deported back to his home country of Mexico, leaving the new CEO to hire a transgender, disabled, woman of color as his replacement.
