SPRIGHTLY, WYOMING– Want to live longer? Then pay attention to a groundbreaking new study out of the Sprightly Dyspnea Institute that claims doing two very simple things will not only extend your life, but will make you feel so much better.
According to the study’s top scientists, inhaling and exhaling on a daily basis is the determining factor of how long you’ll live and is a much better predictor than your age.
More than 269,000 people participated in the study, which involved various tests such as breathing in and out. Scientists monitored the patient’s vital signs and came to the ultimate conclusion that inhaling and exhaling definitely played a part in extending a person’s life.
Half of the test subjects were allowed to breathe while the other half were hooked up to machines that cut off the patient’s ability to inhale and exhale. Surprisingly, 100% of the second group died within minutes.
“If you want to live longer then breathe more,” said head researcher Dr. Richard Kimble. “It will probably extend your life a little bit longer, I’d say.”
Researchers hope that this new evidence can be used as motivation for all those individuals who either forget to inhale and exhale or who have never even heard of those functions.
“Hopefully breathing will become more mainstream,” Dr. Kimble added.
Even though the EPA has deemed breathing bad for the environment, researchers advise people to decide what’s more important, living or helping to protect the earth.
The study was published in the Saudi Arabian Almanac of Preemptive Prevention, or SAAPP for short.
