BURLINGTON, VERMONT– Citing creative differences, Jerry Greenfield announced his resignation from Ben & Jerry’s board of directors after parent company Unilever rejected his proposal for a new ice cream flavor called, “Death to America Salted Caramel.” The flavor, described as “rich caramel swirled with a hint of anti-imperialist rage,” was deemed “too on-brand” by Unilever executives.
Greenfield, known for his far-left activism, told The Burlington Free Press, “I thought we were a company that stood for something. But I guess ‘Death to America’ is just too real for corporate suits.” He added, “I mean, we’ve done ‘Impeach Mint Chip’ and ‘Bernie’s Yearning,’ so what’s the difference?”
The proposed flavor was to feature a red, white, and blue mix-in of crushed American flags, with a portion of proceeds going to “anti-fascist” groups, such as “the idea” known as Antifa and “mostly peaceful” BLM. Unilever cited concerns over “alienating conservative consumers” and “potential boycotts from MAGA ice cream enthusiasts” and also “the whole death to America thing.”
Ben Cohen, Greenfield’s Ben & Jerry’s co-founder, defended the decision, saying, “Jerry’s flavor was actually too mild. I mean, maybe if he named it ‘Death to America and To Every Trump Supporter Salted Caramel’ then I would’ve gotten behind it.”
Greenfield’s resignation has sparked outrage among progressive ice cream fans, with #JusticeForJerry trending on Twitter X. A Change.org petition demanding Unilever reverse its decision has garnered over 100,000 signatures. Those in support of the “Death to America” ice cream flavor vowed to peacefully burn down cities until Unilever agreed to reverse their decision.
In response, Unilever released a statement assuring customers that Ben & Jerry’s remains committed to “social justice and delicious ice cream-just not that delicious to wish death on the country.” The company announced a new flavor, “Tolerance Swirl,” featuring a mix of rainbow sprinkles and apologetic corporate jargon.
Greenfield, meanwhile, plans to launch his own ice cream company, “Jerry’s Revolutionary Scoops,” with flavors like “Burning Cop Car Caramel” and “Socialist Strawberry Cheesecake.” When asked about potential backlash, he smirked, “Hey, if you can’t take the heat, then stay out of this stolen indigenous land known as America.”
