Obama Follows Up First Cryptic Tweet With Another Puzzling One Word Twitter Message: ‘Goat’
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama followed up his cryptic "Vote." tweet this morning with yet another insanely baffling one-word message that has set social media ablaze with sheepish speculation. "Goat."…
Obama On Recent Allegations: ‘I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Flynn Case’
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama has denied the recent accusations by the Trump administration that he had anything to do with a young, part-time White House report named Flynn Case,…
The Other Joe Biden Comes Forward And Accuses Joe Biden Of Sexually Assaulting Him
WILMINGTON, DELAWARE-- The other Joe Biden has come forward to accuse Joe Biden of touching him inappropriately and rubbing him without his consent, with the allegations of abuse supposedly going…
Newborn Baby Arrested After Birth For Failing To Social Distance From Mother
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- A barely one day old baby was arrested by the NYPD this morning inside a New York City hospital after not following Mayor Bill de…
Asian Murder Hornet Arrested For Homicide After Dispute With Bee Neighbor
VENICE, CALIFORNIA-- A newly arrived foreign insect known as the "murder hornet" was arrested Sunday after he allegedly murdered his next door neighbor in a late night dispute. Dà Huángfēng,…
Canada’s Trudeau Bans Bananas After Man Slips And Falls On Banana Peel
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Canada has officially banned bananas after a man slip and fell on a banana peel, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau declared Saturday. The move comes after the negligent man…
NY Mayor De Blasio Unleashes Police To Break Up Pigeon Gathering Over Social Distancing
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Mayor Bill de Blasio has warned the city's large pigeon population that he has zero tolerance for any bird who breaks his coronavirus social distancing…
China Creates New And Improved COVID-20, Promises This Virus Won’t Fall Apart After One Use
BEIJING, CHINA-- Beijing is offering a brand-new and upgraded COVID-20 virus for export after witnessing the entire world starting to recover from their ineffective Chinese-made COVID-19 viral product. On Monday,…
Biden Hires Sexual Assault Expert Bill Clinton As Adviser On MeToo Allegations
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has gone on the offensive against all the peculiar stories floating around that he's somehow involved with assaulting hapless women, hiring a dream team of sexual assault…
Michigan Governor Extends Shutdown Order By Placing Stormtroopers In Front Of People’s Homes
LANSING, MICHIGAN-- Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer extended her stay-at-home order to combat the coronavirus, stationing millions of stormtroopers at residences across the state to keep people from leaving their home…
Altruistic Nancy Pelosi Feeds Starving Homeless People By Tweeting Photos Of Her Stocked Refrigerator
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Millionaire Nancy Pelosi is putting her fellow Republican colleagues to shame by using photos of her stocked refrigerators to feed the starving homeless of California. The charitable…
The Washington Post Fact-Checks Trump’s Claim That 1 + 1 = 2
WASHINGTON-- The Washington Post has stated that they have disproved another false claim by President Donald Trump, who claimed during a recent speech that 1+1=2. The dangerous incident occurred when…
