WASHINGTON– The FBI is searching for five mice wanted for storming the U.S. Capitol building and then leaving piles of feces around the area as part of Operation: Mouse Droppings, according to law enforcement.
As part of a major crackdown on anyone who questions the authority of corrupt nonelected politicians, the mice were put on a terrorist watch list and have been labeled as domestic terrorists by the Joe Biden administration.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi brought in the FBI to investigate the crisis at the Capitol after she was chased up onto a chair by two menacing mice who somehow got into her office liquor cabinet.
“Make no mistake about it, these rodents are violent insurrectionists egged on by former President Trump,” Pelosi said as 500 National Guard troops piled up on the floor in front of her alcohol shelf. “These furry little terrorists are clearly loyal to Trump and I’ll be putting in more articles of impeachment to have him removed for a third time.”
The FBI immediately sent over 100 Mouse Division agents to the Capitol to set up official FBI mouse traps baited with official FBI government cheese to try to lure in the dangerous rodents so they can be captured and face trial.
Special agent Hung Overton said the anti-government mice are being charged with insurrection, treason, sedition, public defecation, theft, sodomy, lewdness and are facing a maximum of 900 years in a federal pound me in the ass prison.
If anyone has any information on the location of these racist mice, please call the Terrorist Rodent Tip Line at 1-900-555-TURD.
