WASHINGTON– Joe Biden announced on Thursday that his presidential inauguration in Washington, D.C. has been cancelled and instead will be held inside America’s new capital Beijing.
The former vice president made the statement official on Twitter after getting the green light from his concerned boss President Xi Jinping of Communist China, adding that Beijing will now be the new capital of the United States.
“I’m inviting all of my seven real voters to join me next week in our government’s new White House in Beijing,” Biden said on Twitter, followed by a China flag emoji. “As soon as Donald Trump leaves the White House I’ll be shipping the Resolute desk overseas where it’ll be placed directly under President Xi’s much bigger and more masculine desk.”
Biden informed everyone that Hunter would also be joining him once he leaves the country due to his son’s uncanny ability to make unheard of deals with China’s usually tough government.
“I’d like to thank my good friend President Xi,” Biden wrote in a later tweet. “I couldn’t have won this election without all your help and blessings. I promise to name my son Hunter’s third illegitimate child after you, Xi. I owe you another one, big guy. Oh wait, I’m the big guy.”
Mysterious members of the deep state later gave a press conference, promising that sending Biden over to China is definitely not a ploy to get rid of him so that the real president Kamala Harris can take over.
