Emperor Biden Builds Coliseum To Feed All The Unvaccinated Americans To Hungry Lions
WASHINGTON-- Tired of waiting around for the rest of the country to get vaccinated, Joe Biden decided to use 10 billion dollars from the trillion dollar infrastructure bill to build…
Infographic: Inside The Mind Of Joe Biden
Being the most popular president in United States history must be a huge burden and weigh heavily on Joe Biden's competent mind. On a daily basis he has so much…
Con Air 2: Southwest Airlines Hires Escaped Convicts To Fly Planes After Pilots Quit In Protest
DALLAS, TEXAS-- Southwest Airlines recently announced that they have hired hundreds of escaped convicts to replace all the trained pilots who quit en masse in protest of the company's vaccine…
Top 3 Sexiest Adult Amateur COVID Virus Models Of The Month
PHOENIX, ARIZONA-- Every month the adult viral film industry picks their top favorite vivacious female viruses in their COVID Hub Model Program, tallying up the numbers and announcing the winners…
The Ubiquitous Brandon Makes An Appearance At Latest Trump Rally
DES MOINES, IOWA-- The sports stadium celebrity known only as "Brandon" made a rare appearance at last night's Donald Trump rally in Iowa, walking out onto the stage with the…
Lizard Person Bill Gates Accidentally Squirts Venom Into Reporter’s Eyes During Intense Interview
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Microsoft co-founder and vaccine candy man Bill Gates has profusely apologized to a dead Bloomberg news reporter's family after mistakenly shooting his poisonous venom into…
Maskless Science Denier Still Waiting Patiently To Die Any Day Now
PORTLAND, OREGON-- For the last year and a half, a local maskless office worker named Margaret Johnson has been quietly preparing for her death ever since her liberal coworkers informed…
FBI Agents Bravely Stop Domestic Terrorist Parent From Putting Apple Into Child’s School Lunch Bag
BOULDER, COLORADO-- Brave FBI agents arrested a Boulder woman this morning after receiving a tip from a neighbor that the woman was preparing to put an apple into her daughter's…
Governor Gavin Newsom To Star As Contestant On Next Season’s Rupaul’s Drag Race
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- Governor Gavin Newsom announced on his Twitter X account this morning that he will be starring in the upcoming season of Rupaul's Drag Race as one of…
Sports Arenas To Replace US National Anthem With F**K Joe Biden Chants
U.S.-- Due to the growing national trend of crowds chanting "F**k Joe Biden" at sporting events, sports leagues around the country have decided to drop the United States national anthem…
Success: Australian Government Solves COVID Crisis By Executing All Their Citizens
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-- After an unsuccessful attempt at eradicating the COVID virus with lockdowns, vaccinations, masking, and brutally beating the Australian population, politicians finally found a cure for the dreaded pandemic…
With Trump Gone, Stephen Colbert Forced To Work As Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Man For Money
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- The Late Show host Stephen Colbert has recently picked up a part-time job working as a wacky arm-flailing inflatable tube guy to make extra cash,…
