Biden Volunteers To Search For More Classified Documents By Patting Down All Young Women
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to cooperate with federal authorities in the ongoing…
Pimps Trade Prostitutes For Chickens As Egg Prices Soar
ATLANTIC CITY, NEW JERSEY-- With the price of eggs continuing to rise,…
The Sky Slammed On Social Media For Refusing To Show A Rainbow After Rain
U.S.-- The ubiquitous sky has come under fire this week when numerous…
Police Arrest Gas Stove For Attempting To Suffocate Its Roommate
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Another dangerous gas stove was taken off the streets…
Biden Awards Presidential Citizens Medal To Hannibal Lecter For Reducing Climate Change By Eating People
WASHINGTON-- As a way to honor regular American citizens who have contributed…
Gazelle Family Christmas Kind Of Awkward After Daughter Brings Home Lion For Holiday
KENYA, AFRICA-- A Christmas family gathering became awkward very fast after a…
Woke Santa Tells Disappointed Children All Their Gifts Going To Ukraine This Year
NORTH POLE-- In an effort to both end systemic, racist climate change…
Buff High School Girl Easily Defeats Competition To Win State Wrestling Tournament
DERRY, NEW HAMPSHIRE-- A young high school girl has surprisingly defeated every…
Christmas Cancelled After Justin Trudeau Has Santa Claus Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- This year's Christmas has been officially cancelled after Canadian Prime…
Canadian Restaurants Offering Free Fries For Proof Of Euthanasia
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In an effort to get as many Canadians euthanized as…
Governor Newsom Gives Sharks Reparations For Hundreds Of Years Of Racial Oppression
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Spurred by the recent The Washington Post article claiming racist…
Biden Soils Himself On Live TV To Show Dominance Over Putin
WASHINGTON-- After western news media outlets reported that Vladimir Putin soiled himself…
