NEW YORK, NEW YORK– The progressive world is cheering after the NFL made a sensational announcement in that after decades of trying to be as inclusive as possible they have now achieved perfect racial diversity by boasting that every player in the football league is now black.
“We finally did it,” said NFL spokesperson Dick Ryderr with tears of joy as mainstream media news reporters cheered. “After spending years trying to be as inclusive as possible, the entire NFL has become completely diverse once we fired every other race of players and hired all black men to represent the true face of what America really looks like.”
Ryderr said the last minute lineup changes will effect future football games, with any remaining non-black players having already been phased out and replaced by some random black guys wandering the streets they hired to play in one of the most watched sporting events of the year.
“Does it really matter if these new guys can even play ball when the most important thing is that they’re black?” Ryderr said confidently. “There wasn’t enough black minority inclusion in the NFL and we are always looking at ways to be able to change that.”
At publishing time, the NFL had come under fire once again once cultural outrage groups found out that only 22 percent of the black players were bisexual, transgender deerkins with they/them pronouns.
