WASHINGTON– Agents at the FBI have been in an uproar after President Donald Trump’s new team told the federal employees that they now must start investigating real criminals rather than going after political opponents and American citizens that the Democrat party doesn’t agree with.
With Kash Patel set to be the head of the FBI and Trump cleaning the government of corruption, FBI agents have been faced with a conundrum of whether they should actually do their jobs according to the Constitution or quit.
“Wait a minute, so we can’t arrest little, old grandmoms waving American flags in public anymore?” A depressed agent asked one of his colleagues as they consoled one another. “But why would Trump do this? Why are we being asked to investigate and arrest real criminals when there’s so many more people out there who may have been within nine thousand miles of the Capitol Building on January 6?”
The two distraught male agents decided that they couldn’t bear to go after their fellow criminals, so they informed the Federal Bureau of Investigation head office that they were quitting and then proceeded to remove all of their sex toys from their lockers.
Many of the agents that quit found work right away after making a lateral move by just becoming regular criminals with guns but without the badges.
