MONTREAL, CANADA– There were many wild moments at last night’s hockey game between the United States and Canada, but the highlight of the evening was when Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stopped the game in the middle of a fight to lecture both team’s players on the dangers of toxic masculinity.
As both benches cleared when one of the numerous fights broke out, an incensed Trudeau quickly ran out onto the ice and demanded that officials halt the hockey game so that he could reprimand the men for not adhering to what their male gender roles were supposed to be.
“Stop the game right away, this is an emergency,” shouted Trudeau to the confused referees as the entire stadium gasped in embarrassment. “This kind of overly aggressive, hyper masculine behavior will not be tolerated in Canada. I will not condone men in Canada acting like real men, that includes you big, beefy men from the United States. Now, I want all you guys to hug and kiss each other and then go back to your locker-rooms to change your tampons.”
Trudeau reminded all the hockey players that testicles were banned in Canada and that the prime minister had already removed his own balls many years ago in an effort to try and eliminate as much testosterone from his body as possible.
In a brief moment of solidarity, both Canadian and American hockey fans united to boo Trudeau until he got so upset that he ran out of the stadium crying to the screams of “F*** Trudeau.”
