NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– The American women’s WNBA basketball draft has come to a close and this year’s number one draft pick is a giraffe from Africa, with her making history as the world’s first ruminant animal basketball player.
Standing 17-feet tall and weighing almost 2,000 pounds, Twiga the giraffe is now the largest women’s basketball player on earth and has already shown her dominance on the court by attacking all the other human female draft picks and sending them to the hospital.
“I will crush all my opponents on the court,” said Twiga, killing a human WNBA hopeful after stomping on her head. “I am the best female basketball player in world and no one can defeat me.”
Twiga says she was ecstatic to learn that she could play for the WNBA after far-left activists said that it wasn’t fair that animals were not allowed to play in the women’s sports league.
Thousands of Twitter users cheered the WNBA’s progressive decision to let the superior giraffe play against the much smaller and weaker human women, saying it was giraffe-ophobic and racist to not let an African-American animal play basketball.
In other news, a 9-feet tall male ostrich was recently crowned the undefeated women’s world kickboxing champion after brutally slaughtering thirty human female kickboxers in a row to win the title.
