Cautious Vampire Worried Next Victim May Be COVID Vaccinated
SUNNYDALE, CALIFORNIA-- Not certain who's safe to bite anymore, a distressed vampire…
Royal Family Announces King Charles Will Return As Soon As He Regenerates New Human Skin Covering
LONDON, ENGLAND-- Yet another mystery has surrounded the Royal Family as head…
Biden Paints White House Brown In Celebration Of St. Patrick’s Day
WASHINGTON-- In celebration of St. Patrick's Day, President Joe Biden has joined…
Snake Plissken Murdered Only Minutes After Entering Current New York City On New Mission
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Famous antihero S.D. Bob Snake Plissken was…
Canada’s Justin Trudeau Elected New Prime Minister Of Haiti
PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI-- Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently…
Boeing Hires Priests To Read Passengers Their Last Rites Before Boarding Planes
U.S.-- Due to the numerous malfunctions and accidents involving Boeing planes recently,…
Elon Musk Selling Ad Space On SpaceX Rocket
BOCA CHICA, TEXAS-- In celebration of the successful launch of a rocket…
FDNY Commissioner Punishes New York Firefighters By Making Them Stay In New York
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- After New York firefighters booed Attorney General…
After Tyson Match, Jake Paul To Fight 94-Year-Old 1940s Boxer Barney Stewart
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Already planning his next boxing match after fighting 57-year-old…
After Winning Washington DC, Nikki Haley Says She’s One Step Closer To Being Able To Start World War 3
WASHINGTON-- After winning Washington, DC in the Republican primary, presidential candidate Nikki…
FBI Arrests Squirrel That Wandered Haplessly Near Capitol Building On January 6
WASHINGTON-- Brave FBI agents are being heralded as heroes for arresting a…
Satan Welcomes Home Favorite Son Jacob Rothschild
HELL-- Financier and one of the wealthiest people in the world Jacob…
