PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI– Amid the mass amount of riots and chaos happening currently in Haiti, the island’s Prime Minister Ariel Henry has resigned from his leadership position and it has already been filled by none other than strong, black leader from Canada Justin Trudeau.
While wearing blackface and eating a human leg with gang leader Barbecue, Trudeau gave a speech thanking everyone for his nonelected position and promised the Haitian people that he will make Haiti great again in the same way he has made Canada great.
“How y’all doing, my black brothers and sisters,” said Trudeau while putting hot sauce on a cooked hand. “As your new leader I promise all of you that I will lead Haiti in the right direction and guarantee you’ll come to love me, in the same way I’m loved back in my home country of Canada by millions of dangerous, bigoted, white supremacist truckers.”
Trudeau then proceeded to play a Jamaican song over his phone and sing along with the lyrics as a way to connect with the confused, angry crowd of people who started screaming that they hate the Jamaicans.
“Wait a minute, this clown’s not even Haitian,” said violent gang leader Barbecue as Trudeau began squirming and looking for a way out. “In fact, I don’t think this fool’s even black.”
After wiping the black face paint off of Trudeau, the hungry Haitian cannibals tied up the Canadian prime minister in preparation to eat him.
“Good thing I’m vaccinated, boys, at least you won’t get COVID,” said Trudeau as the Haitians let him go and moved far away from him to not catch any of his infectious spike proteins.
