China Appoints Mark Carney Provincial Party Secretary Of Canada
BEIJING, CHINA — In a move described by state media as largely…
Worried Canadians Hold Intervention For Family Member Still Doing ‘Elbows Up’
TORONTO, CANADA — Concerned Canadian relatives gathered quietly in a semi circle…
Heartbreaking News: 54-Year-Old Justin Trudeau Found Alive And Well At Davos
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND — In devastating news that has left the Great White…
UK Sends Elite Soldier To Defend Greenland Against The US
NUUK, GREENLAND. In what British officials described as a clear demonstration of…
Denmark Threatens Salty Licorice Embargo On U.S. Over Greenland Dispute
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK — Escalating tensions with the United States over President Donald…
China Calls Trump Reckless For Buying Greenland, Says Responsible Empires Take Islands By Force
BEIJING, CHINA — The Chinese government condemned President Donald Trump’s reported interest…
Mark Carney Successfully Trades Canada’s Entire Auto Industry For Free Egg Roll And Wonton Soup
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Prime Minister Mark Carney triumphantly returned from Beijing this week,…
UK Government Warns Seeing Too Much Truth On X May Cause Independent Thought
LONDON, UK-- The UK government issued a stark public health advisory today…
Prime Minister Mark Carney Promotes Himself To Supreme Minister
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After giving himself an internal performance review, Prime Minister Mark…
British Public Paints Giant ‘DICTATOR HERE’ Sign On Roof Of Prime Minister’s Office In Hopes Of Immediate U.S. Liberation
LONDON, UK-- In a desperate bid to attract the attention of U.S.…
U.S. Secures Guilty Plea By Threatening Nicolás Maduro With Prison Transport On Boeing Plane
CARACAS, VENEZUELA-- U.S. officials announced that Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro formally confessed…
Historians Unearth Lost Napoleon Quote: ‘Never Interrupt Your Enemy When He Is Opening A Somali Daycare In Minnesota’
PARIS, FRANCE-- Historians at the Louvre were stunned this week by the…
