Lizard Person Bill Gates Accidentally Squirts Venom Into Reporter’s Eyes During Intense Interview
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Microsoft co-founder and vaccine candy man Bill…
Maskless Science Denier Still Waiting Patiently To Die Any Day Now
PORTLAND, OREGON-- For the last year and a half, a local maskless…
FBI Agents Bravely Stop Domestic Terrorist Parent From Putting Apple Into Child’s School Lunch Bag
BOULDER, COLORADO-- Brave FBI agents arrested a Boulder woman this morning after…
Student Productivity Increases After Numerous Schools Replace Teachers With Mannequins
SPRINGFIELD, OREGON-- With so many teachers refusing to go back to work,…
Funeral Homes Offering Free Tombstones To Anyone Who Shows Proof Of Vaccination
SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA-- Great news to everyone who gets the COVID-19 vaccine.…
Proud Mother Adopts COVID Vaccine After Aborting Real Unborn Baby
PORTLAND, OREGON-- It looks like another needy coronavirus vaccine has found a…
Racist Dr. Seuss Books Reinstated After It’s Revealed Author Was A Liberal Democrat
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Cancel culture has officially apologized for censoring…
Merriam-Webster Removes Word ‘Trump’ From Dictionary For Offending Too Many People
SPRINGFIELD, MASSACHUSETTES-- Merriam-Webster dictionary has completely removed the word "trump" from all…
USPS Helps Environment By Setting Up Recycle Bins To Safely Dispose Of Trump Ballots
WASHINGTON-- In response to Trump mail-in ballots being dumped across the country,…
Dunkin’ Donuts Giving Away Free Spit-Flavored Coffee To Cops Every Saturday This August
CANTON, MASSACHUSETTS-- What better way for Dunkin' Donuts to show their respect…
Oppressed Black Store Mannequins Say They Need More Representation In the Mannequin Industry
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON-- A group of black mannequins are calling out the retail…
Racist Mirrors Being Recalled After Refusing To Show Black Reflections Inside White People’s Homes
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- A brand of wall mirrors is being recalled by its…
