CANTON, MASSACHUSETTS– What better way for Dunkin’ Donuts to show their respect for the boys in blue than by giving away their famous spit-flavored coffee for free as part of their all-new Saliva Saturday initiative.
Starting this weekend, the world’s most popular doughnut chain will be handing out the mucus-laced beverage for free to any police officer who shows up at a Dunkin’ Donuts location while in uniform on a Saturday.
A representative for Dunkin’ Donuts says they came up with the idea for the free spit-enhanced coffee program after hearing that numerous employees were charging law enforcement officers full price for their high-quality mucus beverage instead of offering them the standard cop discount.
“We sincerely apologize to any police officers who were charged full price for our high-quality phlegm coffee line,” the Dunkin’ Donuts representative said as he gave local Fox News reporters free foamy coffee samples. “To make up for this terrible mistake, we will be giving free slobbered coffee on Saturdays to every officer across the country.”
The representative went on to say that due to high demand of their delicious world renowned coffee by police officers who love seeing thick mucus floating inside their cups, Dunkin’ Donuts will be hiring 20,000 more employees for the month of August whose only job will be to spit, slobber, and drool into all officer’s beverages.
“What better way to show our respect for the police and to also give the men and women in uniform a little kickstart to their day,” the representative added, spraying reporters while speaking. “None of our employees will be wearing COVID-19 masks while working. That way they won’t have to waste time pulling their face coverings on and off, and will be able to serve our officers in record time.”
The unbelievable free deal is for both iced and hot mucus coffee. Dunkin’ Donuts says that if Saliva Saturday is a success then the program may be extended into September and will also be offered to our military, federal officers, conservatives, and Donald Trump supporters.
