Bipolar Tesla Arsonist Leaves Apology Note After Vandalizing Vehicle
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Police in Las Vegas are searching for an apparently bipolar Tesla vandal who left an apology note after burning down a parked Cybertruck, writing that they felt…
Prime Minister Keir Starmer Bans Bananas After UK Man Slips On Banana Peel
UNITED KINGDOM-- Bananas have been officially banned from the United Kingdom after a UK man slipped and fell on a banana peel, declared Prime Minister Keir Starmer. The new ban…
Avengers Mistakenly Add Thanos To Group Chat Discussing Retrieving The Infinity Stones
U.S.-- The Avengers have been embroiled in a massive scandal this week after it was revealed that the superheroes mistakenly added the warlord Thanos to their Signal group chat where…
Exasperated Dwarves Invite Insufferable Snow White Paddleboarding With Obama
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- At their wits end and left with no other options, the Seven Dwarves reportedly invited the obnoxious Snow White out for a quiet time paddleboarding with former President…
UK Police Charge British Man With Hate Crime For Not Allowing Immigrant To Stab Him
UNITED KINGDOM-- UK police have arrested a British man this week and are charging him with a hate crime after the native-born Briton tried defending himself against an illegal immigrant…
Trump Officials Under Fire For Accidentally Leaking Latest JD Vance Meme To Journalist On Signal
WASHINGTON-- A major controversy has struck the Trump administration after a journalist from The Atlantic was added accidentally to a group chat where Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth shared a…
Amazon UK Announces New James Bond Will Remain A British Male
UNITED KINGDOM-- Amazon released a statement recently to announce some good news regarding their new James Bond film franchise, revealing that the 007 secret agent in the new films will…
Bernie Sanders Enters And Already Drops Out Of 2028 Presidential Race To Endorse Hillary Clinton Again
U.S.-- During his countrywide "Fight Oligarchy" tour, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders made a stunning announcement that he had entered into the 2028 presidential race, only moments later to break the…
Federal Judge Orders Trump To Return Released American Hostage Back To The Taliban
U.S.-- Uh-oh. A federal judge has ruled against President Donald Trump once again. After the Trump administration was able to successfully negotiate the release of an American citizen who was…
Canada Government Relieved After Hearing Executed Canadian Citizens In China Were Actually Just Euthanized
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After initially being angry at China for executing four Canadian citizens, the Canadian government was later extremely relieved once the Chinese Communist Party explained to them that the…
Leftist Neuralink Recipient Places ‘I Got This Implant Before Elon Musk Went Crazy’ Sticker On Forehead
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In protest of her newfound hatred for Elon Musk, a radical leftist woman with a Neuralink implant has recently placed an "I Got This Implant Before Elon…
4D Chess: Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Federal Judges From Blocking His Executive Orders
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to stop activist judges from slowing down his America first agenda, President Donald Trump signed an executive order prohibiting federal judges from ruling against his executive…
