OTTAWA, CANADA– As the Canadian wildfires continue to rage, newly elected Liberal Prime Minister of Canada Mark Carney expressed concern that the fires may interfere with this year’s Pride month celebrations and gave an urgent call to action to help save the month-long celebrations.
During an early morning press conference, PM Mark Carney said he was very worried that the wildfires that are continuing to destroy the beautiful forests of Canada would put a damper on The Great White North’s LGBTQ festivities.
“This is a serious issue that I’m trying to solve as soon as possible,” said Mark Carney with pursed lips as he peered over at a Pride flag and teared up. “And no, I’m not talking about stopping the Canadian wildfires from destroying Canada. I don’t care about that. No, I’m worried that all those fires and smoke are going to ruin all the public nudity and gay sex that are happening during our cherished Pride parades this month.”
Sources within the Carney administration stated that the prime minister was faced with a conundrum that, even though he has no desire to stop the wildfires, if he doesn’t do something then all those Pride flags may end up burning.
At publishing time, PM Carney tried tricking the wildfires by having his team place Canada flags near the fires so that hopefully they would get burned instead.
