Studio Audience Relieved They Don’t Have To Pretend To Find Canceled Jimmy Kimmel Funny Anymore
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA- In what many are calling “the first funny thing to happen on Jimmy Kimmel Live in years, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel's studio audience erupted into actual, unscripted…
Ben & Jerry’s Co-Founder Resigns After Company Rejects His ‘Death To America’ Ice Cream Flavor Proposal
BURLINGTON, VERMONT-- Citing creative differences, Jerry Greenfield announced his resignation from Ben & Jerry's board of directors after parent company Unilever rejected his proposal for a new ice cream flavor…
Keir Starmer Wears American Flag Hijab In Honor Of Trump’s UK Visit
LONDON, UK-- In honor of the US president's visit to England, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer greeted President Donald Trump at Heathrow Airport wearing a custom-made red, white, and blue…
After 3 Years, FBI Finally Narrows Down Waldo’s Location To ‘Somewhere On The Page’
WASHINGTON-- In a shocking press conference, the FBI announced today that after a grueling three-year, $47 million investigation, they have finally pinpointed the elusive character Waldo to "somewhere on the…
Democrats Vow To Fight Trump’s Fascism By Burning Down The White House
WASHINGTON-- In a shocking display of moral clarity, the Democrat Party has announced plans to combat President Donald Trump's alleged fascism by setting fire to the White House. The move,…
British Man Jailed For 10 Years After Dog Accidentally ‘Likes’ Anti-UK Government Post
LONDON - In a shocking display of the UK's escalating war on free speech, 32-year-old Nigel Fletcher was sentenced to 10 years in prison today for "inciting public disorder" after…
Democrats Propose Banning Conservatives To Stop Violence Against Conservatives
WASHINGTON-- In a groundbreaking move hailed as progressive pragmatism, Democrat leaders unveiled their latest strategy to combat the rising tide of violence against conservatives: simply banning conservatives altogether. The proposal…
Trump Declares Democrat Party A Domestic Terrorist Organization
WASHINGTON-- In a historic primetime address from the White House, President Donald Trump officially declared the Democrat Party as a domestic terrorist organization, citing "irrefutable evidence" of their role in…
U.S. Citizenship Test Now Includes ‘Black Crime Survival Techniques’
U.S.-- In response to the alarming rise of violent black crime in America, the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) has revised the naturalization exam to include a mandatory "Black…
Drug Companies Sue Government, Claiming RFK Jr.’s Side Effects Mandate Violates Their First Amendment Right To Mislead Consumers
U.S.-- In response to a recent decision by RFK Jr., a coalition of major pharmaceutical companies filed a federal lawsuit today against the U.S. government, claiming that a new policy…
Pakistan Parliament Formally Annexes The UK As Its Newest Province
ISLAMABAD, PAKISTAN-- In a historic parliamentary session that unanimously passed with thunderous applause, the Pakistani Parliament has voted unanimously to annex the United Kingdom, declaring it the country's newest province.…
Democrats Mass-Delete ‘I Stand With Ukraine’ Posts After Black Man Murders White Ukrainian Woman
U.S.-- In a stunning display of ideological gymnastics, thousands of Democrat politicians and activists have rushed to scrub their "I Stand With Ukraine" social media posts after a black man…
