Piggy-Gate: CNN Accuses Trump Of ‘Speciesism’ After Altercation With Miss Piggy On Air Force One
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- CNN aired a groundbreaking interview this morning regarding an incident where President Donald Trump snapped at a reporter mid-flight, calling her a “piggy” during a tense exchange aboard…
Dr. Fauci Spotted Wearing Furry Costume Luring Beagles Into Secret Basement Lab
WASHINGTON-- Local dog owners have been on high alert after it was reported that retired NIH director Dr. Fauci was caught donning a full-body beagle furry costume in an attempt…
UK Police Identify Suspicious British Citizens Who Haven’t Been Arrested Yet For Free Speech
LONDON, UK-- The UK Police Service has announced the formation of a new, highly specialized task force aimed at tackling a growing and deeply concerning demographic of British citizens who…
Michelle Obama Denies Ever Calling White Crackers ‘Honkys’
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- In a jaw-dropping moment during the IMO: The Look limited series, former First Lady Michelle Obama left audiences stunned after vehemently denying she’d ever referred to…
Trump Replaces JD Vance With More Talented H-1B Worker
WASHINGTON-- As part of his make America great again agenda, President Donald Trump announced today that he has replaced Vice President JD Vance with an Indian H-1B visa worker named…
Scarecrow Elected Head Of Democrat Party In Landslide
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to turn the struggling Democrat Party around, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) has elected the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz as its new Chair in…
Congress Introduces Bill To Require All H-1B Visa Workers To Take Mandatory Toilet Training Classes
WASHINGTON-- After news broke that the Trump administration was preparing to bring in highly talented H-1B workers to replace untrained Amercians, the U.S. Congress has introduced the H-1B Toilet Training…
Keir Starmer Vows To Get Tough On Illegal Immigration By Frowning Disapprovingly Whenever Talking About Migrant Crisis
LONDON, UK-- In an unorthodox move to tackle the UK's spiraling migrant crisis, Prime Minister Keir Starmer today announced a comprehensive new strategy by frowning disapprovingly whenever the topic comes…
Trump’s 600,000 New Chinese Students Seen Dropping Out Of Spy Balloons
U.S.-- Only hours after President Donald Trump announced a new deal to welcome 600,000 Chinese nationals to study at U.S. universities, hundreds of Chinese spy balloons were spotted hovering over…
Indian Man Clarifies Face Mask Is For Air Pollution, Not The Waist-Deep Trash And Poop Surrounding Him
MUMBAI, INDIA - Speaking to British reporters atop a mountain of rotting garbage, local resident Rohan Kumar clarified that the tattered, brown-stained medical mask he's worn for the past three…
Congress Reopens Government Just So They Can Take Another Vacation
WASHINGTON-- In a stunning display of bipartisan unity, the U.S. Congress announced today that it has reached a deal to reopen the federal government after a record 41-day shutdown. However,…
Canada Geese Panic They’ll Be Killed Next After One Coughs Outside Canadian Parliament
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Only one day after hundreds of ostriches were culled by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency, a peaceful flock of Canada geese gathered outside Parliament Hill was thrown into…
