India Accuses U.S. Of Stealing Jobs From Indians By Hiring Americans
NEW DELHI, INDIA-- The Indian Ministry of External Affairs issued an emergency diplomatic protest today, formally accusing the United States of unethical labor poaching and stealing jobs from Indians after…
DOJ Vows To Punish Corrupt Democrats By Allowing Them To Remain In Office And Retire Rich
WASHINGTON-- Under the decorative leadership of Attorney General Pam Bondi, the Department of Justice (DOJ) announced a bold new accountability initiative aimed at corrupt Democrat politicians by letting them remain…
Jimmy Kimmel Calls Trump A Tyrant From Nation That Jails Grandmothers For Facebook Memes
LONDON, UK-- Late night host Jimmy Kimmel appeared on British television Thursday to warn viewers that President Trump had turned the United States into a tyrannical nightmare, delivering the message…
Trump Orders Airstrikes On Nigeria After Finally Snapping Over Nigerian Scam Emails
WASHINGTON-- The White House confirmed that President Donald Trump authorized targeted airstrikes on Nigeria after finally reaching his psychological limit following years of incessant Nigerian scam emails promising untold riches,…
UK Police Charge Santa With Hate Crime After Being Stabbed In London
LONDON, UK-- British police confirmed Thursday that Santa Claus has been formally charged with a hate crime after he was stabbed by a Pakistani immigrant during a Christmas Eve delivery…
Jake Paul Visits Nursing Home Looking For Next Boxing Opponent
SUNSET HAVEN, CALIFORNIA-- Fresh off his devastating loss to Anthony Joshua, YouTube sensation-turned-occasional boxer Jake Paul was reportedly spotted touring a local nursing home Wednesday in search of his next…
RFK Jr. Leaves T-Bone Steak And Raw Milk Out For Santa
WASHINGTON-- In a heartwarming yet unorthodox display of holiday cheer, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (RFK Jr.) was spotted leaving a succulent T-Bone steak and a…
Trump Boosts Self-Deportation Incentive By Offering Illegal Aliens Signed ‘The Apprentice’ Photo
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to expedite immigration enforcement and cut federal spending, the Department of Homeland Security announced today that it is scrapping the proposed $3,000 cash incentive for voluntary…
Immigrants In Canada Demand Warmer Sidewalks For Outdoor Pooping
TORONTO, CANADA-- A group representing Canada’s Indian immigrant community has filed a formal grievance with the federal government, claiming that the nation’s sidewalks are "dangerously chilly" and "unacceptably firm" for…
DOJ Arrests Mysterious Black Rectangle From Epstein Files, Pam Bondi Declares Case Closed
WASHINGTON-- In a stunning breakthrough that Attorney General Pam Bondi is calling "the greatest triumph in the history of American justice," the DOJ announced Tuesday that it has formally arrested…
Gavin Newsom Thanks Californians For Sacrificing Electricity So He Can Power His Mansions
SAN FRANCISCO, CA-- Standing inside of the kitchen of his brightly illuminated estate, Governor Gavin Newsom issued a heartfelt "thank you" to the 130,000 San Francisco residents currently sitting in…
CNN Viewer Switches To North Korean State TV For More Balanced Coverage
PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND-- A longtime CNN viewer announced that she has stopped watching the network entirely and now relies exclusively on North Korean state television, saying it provides a healthier…
