Judge Orders Skinny Fat-Shamer To Go On High Calorie Diet To Gain Weight
ERUCTATE, IOWA-- A county judge recently sentenced an arrogant fat-shamer to a punishment of a high fat, high calorie diet in order to gain a massive amount of weight. Once…
Groundbreaking Achievement: World’s First Successful Animal To Human Head Transplant
FUGAZI, ITALY-- Surgeons in Italy claim to have carried out the first successful head transplant on a Canadian goose. The goose was suffering from a bad case of hemorrhoids so…
Scientists Invent Spray That Guarantees To Catch Cheating Spouses
FRESNO, CALIFORNIA-- Good news for all those suspicious people out there who always feel like their boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife is cheating on them. Scientists from the Fresno…
Spin-off Of American Ninja Warrior Featuring Politicians Set To Premiere This Fall
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- A spin-off of American Ninja Warrior featuring many of America's best politicians is set to start this fall. The show will be called American Politician Warrior and will showcase…
Independence Day Rapture? Thousands Of Beachgoers Suddenly Go Missing
MIAMI, FLORIDA-- One of Florida's most popular beaches is now being dubbed the Florida Triangle after thousands of beachgoers suddenly disappeared on July 4th, better known as Independence Day. At…
Gang Of Senior Citizens Terrorizing Los Angeles Neighborhoods
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- A group of senior citizens has been terrorizing people around the Los Angeles area and authorities are looking at ways to combat the crimes of these ruthless…
Let It Grow: Ear Hair Making A Comeback
FRESNO, CALIFORNIA-- The most popular style this year is giving new meaning to the phrase let your hair down. Ear hair, or hair that grows out of the ear, has become…
In An Effort To Be Less Inclusive, Holiday Known As Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day Will Now Be Known As Just Father’s Day
QUEENS, NEW YORK-- After decades of being too inclusive, Non-Binary Ze Hirs Day is getting a much-needed makeover and will now be called Father's Day. Since its inception in 1966, Non-Binary…
Man Chokes To Death After Biting Off More Than He Could Chew
MASTICATE, WASHINGTON-- A Masticate man was rushed to the emergency room where he was pronounced dead after trying to bite off more than he could chew in an effort to…
Top BBQ Meals This Memorial Day According To Celebrity Chef
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Having friends and family over this Memorial Day weekend? No need to stress over what dishes to make on your grill. A top celebrity chef is…
Woman Leaves Husband Of 20 Years For A Baboon
MENSTRA, TEXAS — A woman recently left her husband and filed for divorce after falling in love with a baboon that she had met at the local zoo. Jill Gayle,…
Geico Gecko Comes Out As Chameleon, World Cheers His Bravery
CLARK GRISWOLD, MARYLAND-- Insurance spokeslizard Geico Gecko gave a news conference on the beach last week in which he discussed coming out as a chameleon while working for one of…
