Racist Bible Revised To Say ‘Kneel Before Black Lives Matter’ Instead Of God
BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA-- The Holy Bible has been revised once again in an effort to help prevent any future systemic racism by rewriting all the verses to read "kneel before Black…
Nancy Pelosi And China’s Xi Jinping Get Matching Best Friend Tattoos
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- Nancy Pelosi and President Xi Jinping of China recently got matching best friend tattoos of each other's faces, formally letting the world know that not only is…
Justin Trudeau Apologizes After Old Racist Photo Surfaces Of Him Not Kneeling
OTTAWA, CANADA-- Justin Trudeau has apologized after an old photo surfaced of him not kneeling at a New Year's Eve party he attended in 1999 when a Prince song came…
Three Far-Right MAGA Hats Plotted To Provoke Violence At Vegas Protests
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA-- Three right-wing Make America Great Again MAGA hats with loose fittings to a few far-right scalps tried causing chaos at a recent Las Vegas protest, advocating for…
Obama: ‘Those Peaceful Protesters Could Have Been My Sons’
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama penned a beautiful statement on Medium addressing all the peaceful protesters who took to the streets to loot and vandalize destructively, saying those thousands of…
Thousands Of Rioters Hired After Democrats Deem Them Essential Workers
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Thousands of beneficial rioters have been hired across the United States after Senate Democrats concluded that they fall under the category of essential workers, and…
Jimmy Fallon Apologizes For Jimmy Fallon Impersonation In Hackface On ‘The Tonight Show’
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Jimmy Fallon has been facing major backlash on Twitter for his impersonation of Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show from 2 weeks ago in which…
Joe Biden Makes Coronavirus Mask Out Of Real Human Hair
WASHINGTON-- Former Vice President Joe Biden made his first official public appearance this week in over two months since forgetting where he left the keys to the front door of…
NJ Governor Murphy Vows To Keep Lockdown In Effect Until Every Disgruntled Resident Safely Leaves The State
TRENTON, NEW JERSEY-- Democrat Gov. Phil Murphy announced Friday that he would keep the shutdown of the state going until every single New Jerseyan has safely fled the state forever…
CNN Reports Donald Trump’s Presidency Is A Far-Right Conspiracy Theory
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- CNN has once again debunked the far-right conspiracy that billionaire businessman Donald Trump is the President of the United States, with right-wing radicals pushing this lie for over…
House Democrats Pass Bill To Vote By Singing Telegram
WASHINGTON-- House Democrats have passed a bill on Tuesday that would allow for singing telegram voting and other methods to conduct elections during the coronavirus pandemic and into November, claiming…
Obama Follows Up First Cryptic Tweet With Another Puzzling One Word Twitter Message: ‘Goat’
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama followed up his cryptic "Vote." tweet this morning with yet another insanely baffling one-word message that has set social media ablaze with sheepish speculation. "Goat."…
