John Fetterman Hires Caveman To Help Improve His Public Speaking Abilities
BRADDOCK, PENNSYLVANIA-- After Republican Dr. Oz tweeted that he would like a second debate, John Fetterman's campaign manager quickly hired a caveman named Grog to help the Democratic Senate candidate…
Man Ostracized By Liberal Friends For Refusing To Get Ukraine Flag Tattoo On Forehead
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- A California man is being ostracized by his liberal friends for not having the flag of Ukraine tattooed across his face, with his former friends now claiming…
Democrats Pander To Dead People To Try And Win The Deceased Vote
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- With the presidential election only months away, frantic Democrats have been going from graveyard to graveyard pandering to potential dead voters in an effort to sway them to…
White House Says Biden To Dress Up As Real President For Halloween
WASHINGTON-- For the third year in a row, the White House has confirmed that Joe Biden will be enjoying the Halloween festivities by dressing up as a real president of…
Klaus Schwab Unveils New WEF Mini-Me Clone To Help Him Take Over The World
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND-- In an effort to help expedite his diabolical quest to take over the world, World Economic Forum founder Klaus Schwab had himself cloned with an exact replica of…
Winnie The Pooh Has Eeyore Mysteriously Removed From Hundred Acre Wood Event
HUNDRED ACRE WOOD-- A major controversy has been swirling on social media regarding Winnie the Pooh's unexpected removal of Eeyore from a recent Hundred Acre Wood meeting, as the anthropomorphic…
John Fetterman Promises If Elected He’ll Be Real Pain In The Neck For Republicans
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- Democratic Senate candidate John Fetterman has promised his voters that if elected to Congress he'll be a real pain in the neck for Republicans, saying he plans on…
Obese Cocaine Addict Says He’s Cutting Back By Snorting Only Diet Coke
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- An obese man out of New York is being heralded as a hero by health officials for his stunning transformation after the fat man cut…
Biden Dons New Look To Help Boost Failing Poll Numbers
WASHINGTON-- In an effort to boost his horrible poll numbers, a worried Joe Biden has recently unveiled a brand-new look and campaign strategy, donning a blonde wig and promising Americans…
Man Sues Deer Who Ran Out In Front Of His Car In Head-On Collison
VINELAND, NEW JERSEY-- An angry New Jersey man is suing a deer that ran out in front of his car last week, claiming the deer caused him to swerve into…
Stephen King Writes New Horror Novel About Writer Who Obsesses About Former President On Social Media
BANGOR, MAINE-- Famous writer Stephen King announced on his official Twitter X page that he has released a new scary novel about a horror writer who spends all day obsessing…
Biden Travels To Pennsylvania To Give John Fetterman Public Speaking Advice
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA-- In order to help the Democrats win the Pennsylvania senate seat, President Joe Biden traveled to Philadelphia to give Democratic candidate John Fetterman some intelligent, coherent public speaking…
