WORLD– With 2023 coming to a close and the line between what’s real and fiction growing smaller by the day, Daily Soak takes a look back at the top ten fake news satirical stories of 2023.
10) Canada’s Trudeau Makes Horse Trampling Mandatory Part Of Police Training
OTTAWA, CANADA– As a way to better equip Canadian police officers to deal with unruly protesters, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has made it mandatory for officers to undergo necessary horse trampling classes in case a citizen gets out of line by demanding freedom.
9) Man Becomes Astronaut Just To Get Away From Wife And Kids
MERRITT ISLAND, FLORIDA– To what lengths will a man go to get away from his nagging wife and annoying children? One husband was so frustrated with his family that he decided to become an astronaut and go into outer space just to get away from his spouse and kids and finally have some alone time.
8) Kevin Bacon Changes Name To ‘Banana’ After Going Vegan
HOLLYWOOD– Famous celebrity Kevin Bacon did a recent interview where he shocked the world by changing his last name to “Banana” after going vegan, saying that he couldn’t in good faith call himself Bacon any longer while preaching the evils of eating meat.
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7) Sesame Street’s Oscar The Grouch Canceled After Saying He Doesn’t Want Male Hands Up His Puppet Hole
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– Yet another controversy has hit Sesame Street after Muppet character Oscar the Grouch told producers that he no longer felt comfortable having men shove their hands up his puppet hole because he is heterosexual and asked for only female puppeteers, leading protesters to label Oscar homophobic and call for his termination from the popular children’s show.
6) Seagull Mocked By Friends For Claiming Chinese Restaurant Using Them As Food
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– A seagull has been labeled a crazy conspiracy theorist by his friends for making the outlandish claim that a local Chinese food restaurant has been capturing the birds, cooking them, and then serving them to unsuspecting customers who think it’s chicken.
5) Biden Inspired Video Game ‘Call Of Doody: Stained Underwear III’ Has Exploded All Over America
SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA– A new video game based on the bathroom habits of Joe Biden titled Call of Doody: Stained Underwear III has splattered all over the US just in time for Christmas and stores are expected to be overflowing with excited gamers who can’t wait to get their hands dirty controlling the president.
4) Breaking News: Trump May Be Indicted For Allegedly Not Saying ‘Excuse Me’ After Burping
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– Donald Trump is set to be possibly arrested next week after New York prosecutors said they’ll indict the president with irrefutable proof that Trump once burped around a group of people and ruthlessly refused to say “excuse me.”
3) Biden Prepares For Nuclear World War 3 By Stockpiling Tampons, Makeup, And Hormones
WASHINGTON– As tensions between countries continue to escalate, Joe Biden has taken a proactive approach and has announced that he has begun stockpiling much needed items for his new and improved military, including millions of tampons, makeup, and hormone replacement medication.
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2) Gavin Newsom’s New Executive Order Issues Diapers To Homeless People To Stop Them From Pooping Everywhere
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– In an effort to combat the widespread problem of homeless people pooping all over the streets of California, Gavin Newsom has signed a new executive order mandating the homeless population wear diapers at all times in a directive the governor has named “Poopy Pants For Poor People.”
1) Putin Surrenders After ‘White Lizzo’ Chris Christie Goes Twerking While In Ukraine
KIEV, UKRAINE– Russian President Vladimir Putin has officially surrendered and has begun withdrawing his troops from Ukraine after former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie went to Ukraine and began twerking on the front line by stripping down to his underwear and shaking his large butt, earning him the nickname “White Lizzo.”
Honorable Mentions:
1) New York Prosecutors Drop All Charges Against Trump After Rob Reiner Promised To Dance Naked If He’s Indicted
MANHATTAN, NEW YORK– In a shocking twist to the already controversial Trump arrest saga, New York prosecutors have just announced that they are dropping all investigations into Donald Trump after celebrity Trump-hater Rob Reiner tweeted on Twitter that he was planning on dancing naked in the streets as soon as the former president was indicted.
2) People Magazine: ‘Jabba The Hutt Looks Truly Beautiful In New Underwear Selfie’
U.S.– Tatooine crime lord Jabba the Hutt is the latest plus size celebrity to grace People’s sexiest creatures edition, with the American magazine calling Hutt the sexiest, most gorgeous creature they’ve featured since music singer Lizzo was the special attraction.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
One man’s fake news is another man’s reality.