WASHINGTON– Congress is finally back in session after returning from yet another vacation and House Republicans have stated that they’re feeling fresh, invigorated, and ready to get back to doing absolutely nothing.
House Speaker Mike Johnson gave a brief news conference to announce that Republicans have retuned to Capitol Hill after an extended break of relaxing from their last break and are ready to tackle the tough chore of not doing anything and refusing to help President Donald Trump further his MAGA agenda.
“I’m happy to announce that Congress is back in session and ready to not get to work,” said Speaker Johnson gleefully in between yawns. “Republicans just returned from a much-deserved vacation from not getting any work done and we are now ready to block President Trump from furthering his agenda for the American people.”
With fire in his loins, Johnson reiterated that it is not in the best interests of Republicans to actually do anything or to stop the rabid Democrats from destroying America and trying to impeach Trump.
After shuffling around a few papers and sharpening a few pencils, Republicans announced that they were finished for the day and would return next week to do more of the same.
