TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDA– A man is being sought in connection with at least nine grab-and-smashes over the past two months in the Tallahassee area, authorities said. Police are baffled by the man who apparently grabs an item from a store or a car and then smashes it once he gets outside, refusing to take it.
All nine incidents happened on Tuesdays around 8 p.m. while everyone in the neighborhood was indoors watching America’s Got Talent, deputies said.
Detective Fischer Mann, lead investigator on the grab-and-smash case, said he’s never seen anyone go to all the trouble of breaking into a store or a car and stealing an item just to take it outside and then smash it on the ground, leaving it there for someone to clean up.
“I admit, we really don’t know how to proceed with this,” Detective Mann said. “Usually we’re looking for the stolen item and then tracing it back to the criminal, but this guy’s just smashing it and then leaving it there. In all my years on the force I’ve never been so bamboozled.”
Grab-and-smashes are not only rare, says Dr. Zeke Greene of the Gifted Individuals Institute, but the ingenuity of the crime leads him to believe that the criminal is some type of genius.
“I’ve read about this in my sophomore year of med school,” Dr. Greene said, searching through a medical book. “People who perform grab-and-smashes have more activity in the left prefrontal cortex, explaining why they think outside the box and smash the stolen items instead of taking them home like every other dumb criminal does.
When asked whether he believed authorities would ever apprehend the intelligent criminal, Dr. Greene laughed.
“Ha, I think not,” he said, chuckling. “A criminal of this intelligence will never get caught. Look for him to lead these buffoonish detectives on a wild goose chase. Trust me, they’ll be plenty more grab-and-smashes to come.”
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Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Visitor Rating: 5 Stars
Das wunderbar.