SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– Only moments after finishing a phone call with his boss Xi Jinping, California Governor Gavin Newsom gave a press conference to announce that he was suing the Trump administration to stop all the tariffs on imports from China.
During a press conference, a visibly shaken Gavin Newsom made the announcement that he was suing President Trump to get the US tariffs on imported Chinese goods removed and promised that it had nothing to do with the phone call he had with the president of the Communist Party of China.
“Today, I’m announcing that I am suing the Trump administration to get the tariffs on imported Chinese goods removed,” said Gavin Newsom as sweat poured down his face like a river. “This lawsuit aims to get Trump to stop suing my boss President Xi, I mean, our largest trading partner China. And contrary to the rumors, this had nothing to do with President Xi calling me to demand I sue Trump or he’ll withhold my bribe money.”
Governor Newsom then made a quick exit to call President Xi once again to apologize to him for having to pretend to be tough in front of the cameras, vowing to do everything he can to sell out the United States to China.
Various members of Congress applauded Newsom’s tough stance on Trump and for standing up for China’s right to take advantage of the United States.
“We have a long, cherished history of letting China take advantage of the US,” said Republican Senator Mitch McConnell after freezing and then unfreezing. “And we won’t let a pro-American president like Trump ruin this distinguished relationship that has been working out very well for the bank accounts of us members of Congress.”
