CINCINNATI, OHIO– If silence is golden then one wife’s husband takes the record. Jill Young says that it took her 35 years to finally realize that her husband Henry is a mute.
“I just thought my Henry was a really quiet guy,” said 55 year old Jill to a local reporter with her speechless husband by her side.
“Now that I know Henry’s a mute it all makes sense looking back. I remember screaming at him so many times because I thought he was ignoring me. I feel so terrible when I think of all the times I cheated on Henry with countless cute men because I thought he wasn’t taking an interest in me.”
According to statistics, husbands who pretend to be mute are actually a lot more common than most wives think. In a study performed by the Pornographic Studies Institute, 7 out of 10 husbands pretend to be mute just so they don’t have to speak to their wives, especially during specific television events.
“I never heard about that study,” Jill said when asked about whether she thought her husband Henry was faking his mute condition. “The only thing I know is that I love my Henry and I have to make up for the last 35 years that I’ve berated him and also for all the times I’ve filed for divorce. I mean, what was I supposed to do? No woman likes being ignored by her significant other.”
Update: After this article was written, it was reported that Jill Young filed for divorce once again after seeing her husband speaking to someone behind a curtain, proving that he was definitely faking his mute condition.
Update 2: After the first update was written, it was reported that Jill dropped the divorce proceedings after finding out that Henry wasn’t actually speaking to anyone behind the curtain due to the fact that Henry is insane.
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After 35 years husband realizes wife is deaf.