WASHINGTON– During a recent livestream discussing the brutal war between Israel and Palestine, New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (AOC) changed the boring subject over to her horrid dating life and then suddenly released a massive fart in what she described as a seductive mating call to attract potential male mates.
The fart heard round the world caught the salacious nose of California Democrat Eric Swalwell, who attracted national attention himself for farting on live television numerous times.
“I, I think I’m in love,” said Swalwell as he inundated his lungs with the aromatic scent of AOC’s feminine flatulent pheromones. “I’d recognize that mating smell anywhere. Those aromatic methane vapors emanating from the inner soul of a receptive female in heat have polluted both my eager nose and my lonely heart.”
Swalwell said he has been searching for a female who shares his love for the art of flatulence ever since his long-term Chinese spy girlfriend Christine Fang Fang dumped him because she could no longer stand the smell of his noxious anal wind.
“A real woman is not afraid to release the intestinal gas of her inner soul,” said Swalwell, eating a bowl of spicy chili to prepare his bowels to respond to the new love of his life. “AOC, I’ve heard your passionate, gaseous call and I look forward to spending our steamy nights enjoying each other’s floating air biscuits and blowing our butt bugles while under a warm bubble bath.”
Eric Swalwell wasn’t the only potential man AOC’s fragrant bum burp had caught the attention of. New York Democrat Jerry Nadler, who pooped his pants during a press conference, said he also heard AOC’s pungent mating call and challenged Swalwell to a fart-off to vie for her affection.
