Gavin Newsom Welcomes Federal Election Probe Moments After Warehouse Full Of Counted Ballots Spontaneously Combusts
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following widespread public outcry over a multi-week-long ballot-counting process,…
Karen Bass Secures Runoff Spot After Late-Night Delivery Of 80,000 Registered Labradoodle Ballots
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass officially secured a…
California Warns It Will Take Weeks To Find Enough Ballots For Democrats To Win
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA — Following the closure of polling places for the state’s…
Fox News Calls Los Angeles Mayor Race For Karen Bass After One Vote Counted
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Stating that the mathematical modeling was simply…
D.C. Swamp Holds Candlelight Vigil For Ousted RINO Republicans
WASHINGTON — In a rare, tearful display of true bipartisan solidarity, thousands…
Karen Bass Attempts To Win Back Voters By Dropping Out Of Race
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Hoping to breathe new life into a struggling…
Miriam Adelson And John Paulson Formally Awarded Co-Custody Of Ed Gallrein Following Successful Primary Adoption
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — In a touching scene that restored faith in the…
Ed Gallrein Assures Voters He Only Followed OnlyFans Model To Keep An Eye On The ‘Moral Decay Of America’
HEBRON, KENTUCKY — Facing intense scrutiny just as voters head to the…
Shocking Accusation: Whistleblower Claims Thomas Massie Hung Toilet Paper In ‘Under’ Position During 2018 Dinner Party
FRANKFORT, KENTUCKY — The increasingly bitter Kentucky Republican primary descended into unprecedented territory…
Arsonists Of America Endorse Karen Bass For L.A. Mayor
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA — Citing her inspiringly hands-off approach to combustion, the…
After Careful Reflection, Keir Starmer Concludes Massive Labour Defeat Caused By Everyone Except Keir Starmer
LONDON, UK — Following a disastrous week of local election results that…
Katie Porter Tries To Woo Suburban Moms By Berating Babies
IRVINE, CALIFORNIA — In a desperate bid to humanize her image ahead…