WASHINGTON — Following her deciding vote in a 5-4 Supreme Court decision that permits mail-in ballots to be counted up to five days after Election Day, Justice Clarence Thomas reportedly informed Justice Amy Coney Barrett that her Official Conservative Card had been permanently revoked following yet another Supreme Court decision where Barrett sided with the liberals.
The controversial ruling was the final straw for Thomas. According to sources inside the Court, Thomas quietly approached Barrett after the opinion was released, pulled a small laminated card from her wallet, snipped it in half with a pair of gold-plated constitutional scissors, and slid the pieces across the marble floor.
“You broke the code, Amy,” Thomas said in his signature baritone voice. “We have rules. It’s not personal. It’s just that we’ve reached the point where your voting record now requires you to ride with the liberals.”
Sources within the Court claim Barrett accepted the revocation gracefully, noting that she was looking forward to the glowing praise she is now guaranteed to receive from left-wing media outlets.
At press time, Thomas was reportedly seen slowly walking toward Chief Justice John Roberts while quietly removing another laminated card from his jacket pocket.
