Zelensky Wondering If Now’s A Good Time To Ask Hurricane Victims If They Could Spare Some Of Their $750 FEMA Money
U.S.-- After hearing the wonderful news that residents affected by Hurrican Helene…
FBI Goes Undercover As Ghosts To Stop Illegal Ghost Car Operation
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- With ghost car crimes becoming more prevalent…
‘We Can Do Starbucks While We’re Getting Nuked,’ Says Oblivious Woman Voting For Kamala
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- While sitting inside of a Starbucks drinking soy lattes,…
CNN: ‘Why Violent Illegal Haitians Taking Over Your Neighborhood And Eating Pets Is A Good Thing’
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO-- America's most trusted news source CNN has come to the…
Cats And Dogs Come Out In Support Of Trump After Kamala’s Illegal Haitian Immigrants Keep Eating Pets
U.S.-- As news keeps spreading that illegal Haitian immigrants brought in by…
FBI Monitoring Any Americans Who Refused To Watch Olympics Opening Pride Ceremony
U.S.-- Millions of Americans are now being monitored by the FBI after…
Bad Guy Eludes Secret Service By Jogging Up Mildly Sloped Ground
MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN-- A rabble-rousing man who tried disrupting the RNC Convention as…
Massive Fourth Of July Fireworks Display In Chicago This Weekend…No Wait, Nevermind, It Was Only 100 Plus Shootings
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS-- News outlets were originally reporting that there was a beautiful,…
Dad Tells Kids Maybe Next Fourth Of July When Trump’s President They Can Afford More Than One Hot Dog Each
BAKERSFIELD, CALIFORNIA-- A local Dad named Biff McSquiggin had the unfortunate job…
Nationwide FBI Manhunt Underway To Find Pigeon That Pooped On Street Pride Mural
U.S.-- Federal authorities are warning Americans of a dangerous criminal currently on…
RIP: Millions Of Americans Vote To Replace George Floyd Statue With Sculpture Of Kabosu Meme Dog
U.S.-- There was sad news this week after it was reported that…
Boeing Promises Their New Line Of Hindenburg Airships Are Just As Safe As Their Planes
U.S.-- Facing national backlash after yet another plane malfunctioned this week, longtime…
