Taylor Swift’s Engagement Contract Forces Travis Kelce To Change Last Name To ‘Swift’
U.S.-- In a shocking display of alpha-female dominance, pop sensation Taylor Swift has reportedly included a clause in her engagement contract with NFL tight end Travis Kelce that requires him…
Republicans Introduce Bill To Ban High-Capacity Assault Trannies
WASHINGTON - In a swift response to the tragic Minneapolis school shooting, House Republicans have unveiled the "Save Our Children Act," a landmark bill aimed at banning "high-capacity assault trannies"…
UK Police Launch ‘Grooming Gang Hotline’ To Report White People Who Refuse To Be Raped
LONDON, UK-- In a groundbreaking move to "promote diversity and inclusion," the Metropolitan Police Service has unveiled a 24/7 hotline for reporting white individuals who resist, evade, or verbally object…
Nancy Pelosi Caught Spray-Painting ‘Trump Sucks’ On Capitol Building To Sabotage Trump’s Crime Crackdown
WASHINGTON-- In a brazen act of political vandalism, former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was caught red-handed defacing the Capitol Building by spray-painting the words "Trump Sucks" in a coordinated effort…
Mark Carney Confesses ‘Elbows Up’ Slogan Was Just Social Experiment On Canadian Stupidity
OTTAWA, CANADA-- In an amusing revelation that has left liberal Canadians questioning their collective intelligence, Prime Minister Mark Carney admitted today that his iconic “Elbows Up” election campaign slogan was…
To Boost Struggling Economy, California Declares Homeless Tent Encampments As Official Tourist Attractions
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA-- In a move hailed by his office as both innovative and a game-changer in purpose-driven profit, California Governor Gavin Newsom unveiled a groundbreaking plan to revitalize the…
Democrats Fear Trump’s Proposed Mail-In Ballot Ban Could Cripple Their Vote Rigging Efforts
WASHINGTON-- In response to President Donald Trump's proposed nationwide ban on mail-in voting, frantic Democrats came out publicly to voice their concerns that the president's executive order to clean up…
Defeated Mark Carney Lists Job Opening For Canadian Prime Minister On LinkedIn
OTTAWA, CANADA-- After a humiliating loss in the tariff war against US President Donald Trump, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney has posted a job listing for his own position on…
Cracker Barrel Replaces Old American Man On Logo With Illegal Alien For Half The Salary
U.S.-- In yet another example of big corporations cutting costs at the expense of Americans, famous restaurant chain Cracker Barrel has fired the logo's iconic Old Timer American man and…
Gavin Newsom Appoints Illegal Indian Trucker Harjinder Singh As Director Of California Transportation
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- In defiance of Trump and federal as well as Florida authorities, California Governor Gavin Newsom announced he has appointed Harjinder Singh, the Indian illegal alien who killed three…
Starmer, Macron, And Zelensky Frantically Search White House For Hunter’s Lost Bag Of Cocaine
WASHINGTON-- During the recent high-stakes meeting with President Donald Trump to discuss the ongoing Russia-Ukraine war, UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, and French President Emmanuel Macron…
Tim Walz Joins Minnesota Vikings Cheerleading Squad To Boost Team’s Estrogen Levels
MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA-- After facing backlash for the inclusion of male cheerleaders in their 2025 squad, the Minnesota Vikings tried to quell the firestorm of criticism and appease their critics by…
