BURLINGTON, VERMONT– Only days after attending a “No Kings” protest against President Donald Trump and the rich elites, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders has reportedly purchased his fourth luxury home, a quaint $2.5 million lakefront estate in Burlington, solely to store his extensive collection of “Tax the Rich” signs. The multimillionaire socialist defended the purchase by calling it a “revolutionary storage unit” for his “progressive propaganda.”
The acquisition comes just days after he stood before a roaring crowd decrying the “obscene wealth and decadent lifestyles of the top one percent.” Sanders, who already owns three homes, including a $600,000 vacation home on Lake Champlain, claimed the new mansion was necessary because his other homes were filled to capacity with money and expensive artifacts.
“My first home is needed for serious legislative thinking, you can’t have that cluttered with signs,” Bernie Sanders elaborated after being confronted by news reporters for being a hypocrite. “And my second home is where I store all of my much-needed million dollar artwork and other bribery gifts. And my third home is just where I go to get away from the burden of my second home, so I’m sure you can understand the need to purchase a fourth house.”
The 8,000-square-foot mansion features a 2,000-square-foot sign storage room, complete with climate control and a state-of-the-art sprinkler system. Bernie Sanders has also installed a private movie theater to screen documentaries about income inequality, and to practice his “Fight the Oligarchy” speeches.
Senator Sanders later announced that he would be making a run for the 2028 presidency and would be left with no other alternative but to purchase a fifth home as a “campaign headquarters” and to store his 2028 “Bernie For President” signage.
“I really don’t want a fifth home,” added Bernie, “but I’ll need a place where I plan on pretending to run for president just so I can get a huge payoff to drop out and then endorse the establishment Democrat candidate.”
