LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– In an effort to connect with black voters, California Governor Gavin Newsom appeared on the popular hip-hop podcast All the Smoke this week and told the world a gripping tale of hardship growing up, revealing how he was a poor black child from Compton who struggled against systemic oppression, surviving on “eating empty Wonder Bread sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner” and washing it down with “grape soda from the liquor store.”
Gavin Newsom, whose father was a judge and whose family owns a 2,000-acre vineyard, claimed he had to share a pair of old sneakers with three of his cousins and was forced to hustle for nickels in the hood while trying to avoid racist White cops.
“Man, let me keep it real with ya, dog,” said Newsom, dropping his voice to a Barry White growl. “Yo, hear me, I remember crouchin’ in that one-bedroom shack with six cousins. Know what I’m sayin’? I be eatin’ nothing but month-old Wonder Bread and drinkin’ grape soda for hydration, sheit. My mama worked three jobs just to keep the lights on. Shoutout to Section 8 for helpin’ us survive, yo.”
Hosts Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson listened in stunned silence to Newsom’s story, exchanging uncomfortable glances as Gavin pulled up one of his pant legs.
“Man, you really went through it, Gav,” Jackson said, chuckling. “I ain’t mad atcha for gettin’ that bag now.”
“You feel me, Steve,” said Newsom excitedly, clearly thrilled believing he hoodwinked two black men into thinking he’s one of them. “It’s all about the struggle, fam.”
The stunt is widely seen as Gavin Newsom’s latest attempt to scrub his elitist image ahead of a rumored 2028 presidential run. Insiders say he’s been practicing his “black voice” in the mirror and has hired former Vice President Kamala Harris to teach him how to dap properly in order to connect with the minority community.
When reached for comment, Newsom’s office claimed the governor was “just relating to the community” and “has always had a deep connection to the African American experience.” And when that excuse didn’t work, Newsom quickly began posting images on Twitter X mocking President Trump’s orange skin.
