SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA– Finally deciding to hold the person responsible behind the decline of The Golden State, California Governor Gavin Newsom reportedly was seen in his Sacramento mansion angrily confronting his own mirror reflection, who he claims is the man “single-handedly destroying California.” According to sources inside the Governor’s Mansion, the incident began when Newsom approached his mirror and “demanded answers” from the man “who ruined everything.”
Witnesses say the governor launched into a fiery tirade, accusing his mirror image of letting crime soar, driving away businesses, and somehow turning San Francisco into a live-action dystopian art installation.
“You did this!” Gavin Newsom shouted, wagging a finger at his mirrored adversary. “You’re the reason people can’t afford to live here anymore! You’re the one who thought it was a good idea to legalize chaos! You’re the one who legalized shoplifting! Who let MS-13 run our streets! You’re the one who raised taxes so high even Elon Musk left!”
The mirror-Gavin immediately started mocking the governor by repeating everything he was saying at the same time, causing Newsom to attempt to punch the mirror, only to recoil in pain after breaking a painted fingernail.
Aides reportedly found Newsom hours later, still yelling at the glass. “I know it’s you! I know you’re behind the droughts and the wildfires. You’re a monster who looks exactly like me! No wonder everyone thinks I’m the one ruining California with failed Democrat policies!”
When questioned by reporters about calls for him to have a mental assessment, Gov. Gavin Newsom insisted he wasn’t talking to himself, but to the guy who looks, sounds, and acts exactly like him, even living inside of the same house. Newsom promised he was sane and that he’s just passionately committed to blaming someone else for his own failures.
