WASHINGTON– On his very last day in office, President Joe Biden issued a few more last-minute pardons for both Dr. Fauci and Liz Cheney immediately after their bribery checks had finally cleared.
Fauci and Cheney were sweating bullets waiting for their checks to clear so that Biden could hand them out preemptive pardons to avoid justice from the incoming Donald Trump administration.
“Whew, that was a close one,” said Biden jokingly as all three of them laughed it off. “You two shitbirds don’t know how close you were to having to account for all your crimes. I should’ve charged you an extra five percent for late charges.”
Dr. Fauci thanked Biden for the opportunity to be able to now stay out of prison for an entire career of horrific activities that would have made even Nazi doctor Dr. Mengele blush.
At publishing time, California Senator Adam Schiff’s check hadn’t cleared in time to get a pardon, so he’ll now be relegated to just starting endless investigations into Trump for Russia collusion for the next four years using damning evidence that won’t ever be revealed to the public.
