WASHINGTON– At a recent earthshattering news conference in a lookalike White House yesterday, Resident Joe Biden issued a strong repudiation of farsighted white hens and promised to fight the domestic terrorist birds that seemed to rise under the presidency of Donald Trump.
In his eloquent speech on Thursday, Biden denounced the “racist, xenophobic, homophobic, violent, terrorist, farsighted white hens” that overwhelmingly stormed the Capitol Building on January 6, citing that the majority of the fowl insurrectionists were white birds carrying symbols of hate such as the American flag.
“Folks, we cannot ignore this dangerous threat of white hens or think it’ll go away on its own,” Biden said as photos of the FBI’s most wanted white hens flashed on a screen behind him. “My administration will be using every law enforcement agency in the country to finally put an end to these extremist white birds that were radicalized under President Trump, I mean, definitely former president.”
After drooling into his microphone, Biden added, “We don’t have time for a national dialogue about farsighted white hens and the damage they’ve been causing our once great country. We need to focus less attention on trivial things such as Islamic terrorism or China eating our lunch, and put all of our resources into getting rid of these white cock-a-doodle-doo things.
“I’m also placing my right-hand girl Kamala Harris in charge of the white hen task force. She has a lot of experience going after those little white guys and knows exactly what to do with them once she’s captured one.”
The always unbiased Anti-Defamation League (ADL) filed a report backing the claims of Biden, stating that farsighted white hens are also responsible for the rise in anti-Semitic hate crimes around the country, which includes the vile white birds defecating on the property of Jewish-owned businesses.
