Town Of Killdeer Makes It Illegal To Have Pets Out In Public Without Clothing

KILLDEER, WYOMING– A controversial law was passed in the town of Killdeer last week that makes it illegal for pet owners to have their pets out in public without clothing. The new law has shocked and confused many people across the country, considering the fact that Killdeer has more nude beaches and nude parks per capita than any other state.

After passing the controversial law, mayor Bobby Stillwater stripped off all his clothes and then held a question and answer session on Killdeer’s Honeypot nude beach in front of dozens of naked reporters and residents.

“A great stride toward a less offensive world was made this week,” Mayor Stillwater told the nude crowd as news cameramen recorded the live event. “After receiving thousands of complaints regarding countless pets being disgustingly paraded around our quaint town without even the slightest hint of clothing on, our council members decided that it was in the best interest of dignity, humanity, and our children to pass the Cover Your Pets law and also make it a serious crime to break this law.”

As the crowd of people cheered and whistled their full support for the town’s decision, Mayor Stillwater stepped away from his podium and took a bow. He then held up a few enlarged photos of unclothed wild animals, such as squirrels, birds, and raccoons, as evidence of the crudeness of being subjected to these images.

“As you can plainly see from these photos,” the mayor started to say as the crowd appeared mortified, “unclothed animals are an eyesore to our great town. As part of the Cover Your Pets project, I’m assembling a task-force of highly trained animal experts to go around town capturing all wild animals and fitting them with the appropriate clothing. It may take a while, but one day every single animal in the town of Killdeer will be fully clothed and then perhaps we’ll be able to take our children outside to our parks and beaches once again without the fear of hurting their young eyes.”

It must be noted that after the law was passed, countless animals left Killdeer and took up residence in the more liberal town of Bare Hen.