Sperm Banks Lower Interest Rates To Counter Low Donations
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- U.S. sperm banks have recently lowered interest rates and state that more policy initiatives lie ahead, citing a U.S. slowdown of donations. As sperm banks desperately try…
Skinny Dipping Is Discriminatory, Says Fat Rights Group
MIAMI, FLORIDA-- A fat rights group out of Florida is calling on Washington to do away with the term "skinny dipping", which they say is discriminatory toward obese people. The…
California Is The First State To Require ID Cards For Dogs
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- The state of California recently passed a new law that requires pet owners to get identification cards for their dogs due to the extreme influx of illegal…
Squirrel-Shaped Corn Chip Fetches $10,000 On Ebay
BILOXI, MISSISSIPPI-- A corn chip in the shape of a squirrel recently sold on eBay for a staggering $10,000, making this the most money anyone has ever spent on a…
Clothing Rights Groups Outraged After Hit And Run Driver Leaves Dead Shirt On Side Of Road
SUNDANCE, WYOMING-- A denim shirt died late last night after getting hit by a car, causing numerous clothing rights groups to take to the media in search of the hit…
Snopes Site Puts Itself On Its Own Rumor List
MENTIRA, CALIFORNIA-- Famous Internet rumor website Snopes has recently put itself on its own list of sites that they deem to be of questionable origin, stating that it was only…
Next Star Wars Movie To Feature First Transgender R2D2 Droid
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA-- Star Wars fans around the world are rejoicing at the news that the next Star Wars movie Vogue One will feature the first ever transgender R2D2 droid, ushering…
Fly On The Wall Testifies In Court For The Prince Heirs Case
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA-- A housefly that was on late musician Prince's bedroom wall the day that he admitted who his real relatives were testified under oath this morning, according to the…
U.S. Government’s New Open Door Policy Is Causing Mass Confusion
WASHINGTON-- A new bill was passed unanimously by both Republican and Democrat Congress members this morning called the Be Polite, Hold The Door bill, which makes it mandatory for anyone…
Must See: Chimp Evolves Into Man Overnight, Proves Evolution Once And For All
BRONX, NEW YORK-- An earth-shattering discovery was made last night at the Bronx Zoo when one of the resident chimpanzee's named Binky evolved into a human in less than 24…
Trump Hires Tony The Tiger As Spokesman
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Presidential candidate Donald Trump recently announced on Twitter that he hired Frosted Flakes mascot Tony the Tiger as his campaign spokesman, one-upping rival Hillary Clinton's recent hiring of beloved…
Vampire Sues Pizza Restaurant For Putting Garlic On His Pizza
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA-- A vampire from New Orleans is suing a local pizza restaurant after biting into a slice of pizza and finding large chunks of garlic hidden under the…
