MLB Punishes Georgia For ‘Un-American Election Laws’ By Moving All-Star Game To More Patriotic China
ATLANTA, GEORGIA-- Major League Baseball has decided to relocate the 2021 All-Star Game out of Atlanta and over to Beijing, China in response to Georgia's recent election regulations that the…
Proud Mother Adopts COVID Vaccine After Aborting Real Unborn Baby
PORTLAND, OREGON-- It looks like another needy coronavirus vaccine has found a new home. A woman from Portland recently announced on her Twitter account that she is the proud new…
Biden Blames Russian Hackers For His Fall On Air Force One Steps
WASHINGTON-- The pesky Russians are at it again, says top Democrats. After Joe Biden had an embarrassing tumble down the steps of Air Force One on Friday, a White House…
Miracle: Joe Biden Cures Kamala Harris Of Head Lice After Sniffing Her Hair
WASHINGTON-- In what is being considered nothing less than a miracle, Joe Biden has cured his future replacement Kamala Harris's head lice by grabbing her shoulders from behind and then…
Racist Dr. Seuss Books Reinstated After It’s Revealed Author Was A Liberal Democrat
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK-- Cancel culture has officially apologized for censoring the books of Dr. Seuss after claiming the children's classics were written by an evil, right-wing, conservative Trump…
Coronavirus Comes Forward And Accuses Andrew Cuomo Of Sexual Harassment
ALBANY, NEW YORK-- The COVID-19 virus is the latest victim to come forward with sexual assault allegations against Gov. Andrew Cuomo, claiming the touch-feely politician was less than six feet…
Biden Voters Justify Syria Bombing Saying At Least They Got Rid Of Trump’s Mean Tweets
WASHINGTON-- Immediately after Joe Biden ordered the entire country of Syria to be blown off the map, hundreds of his supporters took to Twitter to reiterate how happy they are…
Equality: Biden Orders All Zoo Lions That Identify As Antelopes To Be Allowed Into Antelope Enclosures
WASHINGTON-- Joe Biden has taken a big step towards protecting the rights of lions that both identify and are transitioning into antelopes by allowing them to live inside antelope zoo…
Tearful Obama Inconsolable After Biden Takes His Place As America’s Worst President
WASHINGTON-- Former President Barack Obama was in tears this week after his former vice president Joe Biden was awarded the title of America's Worst President, stealing the honor from the…
Biden Holds President’s Day Rally In Graveyard To Thank All His Supporters
WASHINGTON-- History's most popular U.S. president Joe Biden held a President's Day rally inside a local cemetery to thank all his most vocal supporters for voting for him in America's…
Accused Myanmar Leader Claims She Used Biden Strategy Of Hiding In Basement To Win Election Legitimately
NAYPYITAW, MYANMAR-- After getting arrested by Myanmar's military for alleged election fraud, elected government official Aung San Suu Kyi says she has been falsely accused of vote tampering and that…
Biden Tears Down Atmosphere To Allow Millions Of Illegal Space Aliens Into U.S.
WASHINGTON-- In one of the very few campaign promises that he actually fulfilled, Joe Biden has officially dismantled the earth's atmosphere above the United States and has invited millions of…
