WASHINGTON– Joe Biden has taken a big step towards protecting the rights of lions that both identify and are transitioning into antelopes by allowing them to live inside antelope zoo enclosures and partake in all other activities in a stunning move to be more inclusive.
The Biden administration reversed President Donald Trump’s policy regarding trans-animals and will allow any big cats, such as lions, tigers, leopards, and pumas, that are in the process of becoming an antelope to intermingle with the much weaker prey.
Biden signed his 1,034th executive order Wednesday, making it clear that he takes the rights of trans-lions seriously and will punish any antelope that opposes his order with a minimum of 169 years in federal prison.
“Lions shouldn’t have to worry about getting mistreated just because of the way they dress,” Biden said from the Oval Office, accompanied by a few lions that already transitioned. “A lion should be able to wear horns and have access to the same zoo cages as antelopes.”
The policy will also target deer, sheep, goats, gazelles, and all other smaller animals that lions murder and eat for survival in the wild.
A group of antelopes protesting outside the White House said they’ll be suing the president for letting their natural enemy into an enclosed habitat, thereby putting their lives in danger.
“C’mon, man, the idea that lions want to pretend to be antelopes just to get close enough to eat them is bizarre,” Biden said to a skittish antelope who questioned lion’s ulterior motives. “This is the kind of racist, transphobic, Trump-inspired backward thinking that we need to eradicate from our country if we’re ever going to end discrimination.”
