GoFundMe Claims It Tested Positive For COVID And Has To Isolate Indefinitely
REDWOOD CITY, CALIFORNIA-- Fundraising platform GoFundMe announced early this morning that it has tested positive for COVID-19 and needs to go into hiding and self-isolate for an indefinite amount of…
American News Media Praises China’s Use Of Uyghur Prisoners As Human Torches To Light Olympic Cauldron
BEIJING, CHINA-- Various American leftwing news media outlets are praising China's stunning use of Uyghur slaves as human torches to light the Olympic cauldron, commending the communist country for their…
467,000,000 Jobs Suddenly Added To Biden’s Job Total In The Middle Of The Night
WASHINGTON-- After almost 500 million jobs were found in the middle of the night and added to the total job count, President Joe Biden did a victory dance while giving…
Fly That Landed On Mike Pence’s Head Turns Down Offer To Be His Vice President
WASHINGTON-- Former VP Mike Pence has been in the spotlight lately after announcing that he is running for president in 2024 and has already made an offer to the fly…
Gov. Gavin Newsom Held Hostage By Garden Tools In Protest Of Him Banning Leaf Blowers And Lawnmowers
SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA-- Dozens of angry garden tools have taken Gavin Newsom hostage over his recent ban of gas-powered lawn equipment, saying they have no intentions of releasing the California governor…
CNN Creates New Network CNN 2.0 To Cover Up Scandals Of First CNN
ATLANTA, GEORGIA- With so many alleged sex scandals plaguing the world's most trusted news network CNN, executives came up with the ingenious idea of creating another network called CNN 2.0…
Whoopi Goldberg Returns To ‘The View’, Oh Wait, It’s Only Justin Trudeau In Blackface Again
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- Millions of people were shocked and then confused after turning on The View this morning and seeing who they thought was Whoopi Goldberg back on set,…
Groundhog Day: COVID Virus Sees Its Shadow, So Another 6 Weeks Of Propaganda
PUNXSUTAWNEY, PENNSYLVANIA-- Famed celebrity COVID Virus emerged from its burrow early this morning and saw its shadow, thus declaring there would be another six weeks of mainstream media fearmongering propaganda.…
AOC Leaves Twitter After Accusing The Social Media Site Of Just Wanting To Date Her
NEW YORK, NEW YORK-- A distraught AOC confirmed that she has officially left Twitter and won't be returning anytime soon, saying she has anxiety over the social media site using…
Justin Trudeau Hides Out In AOC’s New York District Office Since She’s Never There Anyway
QUEENS, NEW YORK-- After fleeing from Canada to the United States to avoid giving his citizens freedom, Prime Minster Justin Trudeau found the perfect hiding spot inside AOC's empty New…
Biden Threatens To Resign As President If Joe Rogan Not Removed From Spotify
WASHINGTON-- The president of the United States Joe Biden has issued a serious ultimatum to streaming service Spotify, saying that if they don't remove Joe Rogan's podcast immediately then he…
Biden Considers Nominating Strong Black Woman Hillary Clinton To Supreme Court
WASHINGTON-- President Joe Biden has finally narrowed down his list of possible black females he intends to nominate to the Supreme Court to replace retiring Justice Breyer, with strong, empowered…
