WASHINGTON– To honor the courageousness of Ukraine, the United States government has recently torn down the antiquated Statue of Liberty and replaced it with a statue of Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky, whom Congress has called one of the greatest men to have ever lived.
Getting bipartisan support and receiving an almost unanimous vote, members of Congress passed the Volodymyr Zelensky Memorial and has allocated over $100 trillion dollars to both erect the statue of the Ukrainian president and to also launder money back into the bank accounts of totally honest American politicians.
“President Zelensky is the greatest man to have ever walked the earth,” said Democrat Adam Schiff as she gave a press conference along with a few of his Democratic colleagues. “To honor the achievements of Mr. Zelensky and Ukraine, we have already begun tearing down the old, racist, homophobic Statue of Liberty and will be erecting a memorial of the Ukrainian president.”
Schiff went on to say that Zelensky is being honored for his many achievements and contributions to modern society, including defeating the entire Russian army with only a toothpick, discovering a cure for cancer while holding his breath underwater, and for kissing Nancy Pelosi on the mouth for longer than ten seconds without vomiting.
The replacement of the Statue of Liberty with the Zelensky Memorial has garnered all the support of the thousands of bots on Twitter X, proving that all of America is in favor of the idea.
“President Zelensky has saved the world more than Jesus Christ himself,” said Republican Senator Lindsey Graham only moments before getting struck by lightning.
“In addition to the statue,” Graham added, “me and my fellow Republicans have introduced a bill that will put images of President Zelensky on all our American currency, as well as replacing the American flag with the flag of Ukraine. What better way to show our support for the greatest nation on earth.”
