WASHINGTON– Election Day is almost here, and a very confident Kamala Harris has set her bedroom alarm for five minutes before 3 AM so that she can witness all the fake ballots being dumped in her favor to help her take the presidency away from Donald Trump for the second time.
In between cackles, a giddy Kamala told husband Doug Emhoff that she wanted to be awake this Election Day to witness the steal live, unlike the last time when she was zonked out after downing nine bottles of Vodka.
“Doug, can you set the, um. you know, set that, that thing that has the numbers on it?” Kamala asked her husband in reference to their alarm clock. “This thing only happens once in a lifetime, and I want to be awake to witness it. Oh wait, I mean, this kind of thing only happens twice in a lifetime. I almost forgot about 2020.”
Even though she has been reassured she has the election win in the bag, Kamala wanted to make sure all the phony cackling displays she had to put on for three months actually was worth it.
At publishing time, it was reported that the Democrat ballot dumps had been moved up to 2 AM in a way to both trick the Trump campaign and also to make sure that the incompetent Kamala didn’t somehow screw that up also.
